if i were a facebook status

12i would always write dependent clauses starting with action verbs and refer to myself in the third person. for example,

loves friends, fancy onion tarts, and seasonal beers on “tas tas” night (which is obviously the noise of pretending to be loaded with monetary surplus and shooting an imaginary gun of wealth into the air…if you ask me in person, i’ll explain it better).

cannot believe that one week will bring sweet memories of moab, the eve of a new job, and hopefully the happy scalp that comes with making homemade shampoo.

and until all those things come to pass, farewell readers.

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